.JPG)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Stage One
I think this would be more like the eighth stage but I hate to start in the middle. My journey isn't so extraordinary or even unusual but I have always felt that its better to have too much information than not enough. So maybe this blog won't be for you and I certainly will not be the wiser. If anything it will end up as a place for me to vent and release the creativity that was there many years ago and I am hoping is still there under there, hiding in the darkness, waiting to be noticed. If I help anyone besides myself then bonus I say! Or if someone reaches out to help me or just say I've been there than great.
So the beginning would probably be three years ago when my then-husband and I moved to the Bay Area. Both of us thinking that would get our lives really started, we would be on our way to what we had always talked about, being able to see the things in the world that we haven't. And yes that is naive but both of us had lived in a small town for about 15 years and the chance to get out was very intoxicating. Turns out it just led to our separation, filing for bankruptcy and me spending 72 hours in the psych ward. Not quite what we had planned and certainly not where I thought my 30's were heading.
Where does that leave me now you wonder? Well jobless (hopefully only temporarily) carless, and living with my grandmother and pretty much more confused than I thought was possible. Am I still confused, heck yeah! But I seem to be moving on to the next stage, which I am going to call two. Or nine, whatever! Do I question my actions, on a regular basis, but it doesn't keep me scared and frightened anymore. Am I going to make many mistakes on the next stages? Of course I will but its my life to make mistakes in and I am going to take that giant step and if I fail, its on me and no one else. Being able to say that is probably a stage in itself.
So the beginning would probably be three years ago when my then-husband and I moved to the Bay Area. Both of us thinking that would get our lives really started, we would be on our way to what we had always talked about, being able to see the things in the world that we haven't. And yes that is naive but both of us had lived in a small town for about 15 years and the chance to get out was very intoxicating. Turns out it just led to our separation, filing for bankruptcy and me spending 72 hours in the psych ward. Not quite what we had planned and certainly not where I thought my 30's were heading.
Where does that leave me now you wonder? Well jobless (hopefully only temporarily) carless, and living with my grandmother and pretty much more confused than I thought was possible. Am I still confused, heck yeah! But I seem to be moving on to the next stage, which I am going to call two. Or nine, whatever! Do I question my actions, on a regular basis, but it doesn't keep me scared and frightened anymore. Am I going to make many mistakes on the next stages? Of course I will but its my life to make mistakes in and I am going to take that giant step and if I fail, its on me and no one else. Being able to say that is probably a stage in itself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)